Storming In

Lately Depression is getting a hold of me again, they come one after another. This is what I hate about problems, when I am down with one another comes in, like opportunistic microorganisms; once they found you have low resistance they butt in and make you sick.

But those are my wages, I have to face the fact that its already written on my record and that I have to stand up for it. It was also my fault and like I said I am ready to face the consequences. I may not be able to erase those numbers but I could change it, meron pa akong magagawa. We all have our first times.

No Need to Tell, But to Understand

I know what will be your answer, at first I don't know why I even called you. I just stood up from my PC grabbed the phone and dialed your land line number. Of course I greeted you to start a conversation, then I asked if we could meet, without knowing if dad would even give me money which he eventually did. You said yes instantly. I need not to remind you over and over about it for you would not double cross me.

An hour was wasted before we finally met. I doubted that you would come but proved me wrong. You've added a little character but your own aura still shows, just the way I liked it. You still wear your usual smile, usual clothes when we meet, usual taste for liquors, usual type of clothes, usual philosophy, and usual optimism. Like back then we never ran out of stories and jokes.

Finally a question asked, at first I don't know how I would bring it out, straight to the point. You know where this was going like I did. "Why are you like this?" You asked "That's what I don't know. . ." I replied. I know that I would be wasting my time, my money, my breath and words but I still pursue on nothing. You don't want to talk about it as much as possible so I ride on with you for a while but then we go down to it again.

"You have no idea how much I missed you everyday. I wanted to call, text, PM and even go to your house but I just have to understand that you are busy like I am. I still long for you even if I know it's impossible. We've been together for only 3 years but we've known each other well for only 3 months, that's because we trust each other. You share your problems to me and mine to you. I keep myself busy for if I do nothing its only you in my head. You are the only piece from my past that I can't throw away."

"I am speechless . . . But . . . Why are you like this? You know that I don't want to think about it. No, please just understand and I am sorry. I am happy of where we are. What has got in to you? You know you are better than this, you know what is right. I am sorry but thankful to meet you. You are one of my few closets guys that I mention. And you have changed my life a lot."

Though we have a lot in common we have different priorities. It was not a mistake to meet up with you. I wanted to cut every communication with us at first, but I just can't. We shared more stories before we completely left to leave everything behind, except our friendship of course. I needed you to understand that I am really here for you even that I have failed. I still respect everything between us. We are always equal we don't awe anything from each other because we also repay everything in the end. I did not ask everything because I know that you may either not know the answer or purposely pass the question. I wanted also to hug you so much when you were holding back if only I didn't know where I stand.

Holding your hand for a second, we thanked each other apologized, turned back and went home. . . And another day has passed. . .

Thanks

I started as a pathetic student at my prelims, but carried on through my midterms and nearly lost my mind at my finals. All in all I could say that I just had my worse academic semester in my whole college life yet. But not all of it were as bad as it seems. I've met a lot of people and all of them were that good. I really love my Chem and Algebra class and the people I am with there. Also the Computer Programming and Drawing, those subjects were only minors but they really challenged me a lot. I'll be getting my card by our enrollment. I have a couple of subjects that are crucial and might fail. Like my cousin said to me; "Matututo ka sa mistakes mo, alam mo naman talaga kung ano ang dapat gawin. Ang importante matapos mo yung sem." I had made so many mistakes and I am ready to face the consiquences. . .

I also noticed that I have been such a Bible reader eversince I got into that group. They were the ones who helped me heal and guess what I have not been into it for 3 weeks straight. It's also hard sometimes, becuase the urge is still haunting me but my words are far more powerful and capable of rejecting it. I would really want to continue my journey but I have personal reasons why I cut it short. I also felt that I've become even more closer to Him. And what a way to thank Him by playing my guitar at our prayer meeting. Ito pa pala sobrang blessed ang PRYM, the prayer meeting is improving but our performance in it is not important but our faith and responsiblity on the blessings and tasks that are given to us.

I really don't know what to ask for now, except the usual protection, guidance and wisdom. I am happy to where I stand and what I have. I am inspired everytime I read His words which I almost normally do since the encounter; it is enough to brighten up my day. I am always on the right track of my seasons of life. So all I could say for now is thanks be to God and just keep on bringing those challenges up for I know in the end He'll still be at my side no matter what. I may have big problems but God is bigger than it.

Lately, Still On Fire

SHOUT IT OUT:

For some, I think they already knew what are my other co-curricular activities that I do at the University.

Ayoko mag salita ng tapos because usually the opposite happens afterward. But there are some instances that I felt healed my ways and practices in life changed also. Galing talaga ng Niya! Commit ka lang sa kanya lahat ng plano mo magiging successful (Proverbs 16:3)
I hope I would be able to use this sa ministry, there'll come I time but not now I still need to learn. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

FINAL THOUGHT:

This all seem awkward, if you would trace the roots of how did I came up here you would see that they are also problems that were the same reasons of why did I transfer. But what matters is what is happening right now and what are you doing at the time given to you. I am not what happened yesterday. Yes I endured what happened and survived what happened, but I am not what happened yesterday.

I am really happy when more and more people get to know Him and give there all but I am inspired when I see people change there ways. They knew that they had an oppurtunity to change and be healed and they didn't waste that oppurtunity like what Zaccheus did.

Ardent

SHOUT IT OUT:

I don't know, but lately I am on fire and always in the mood. Though I still have problems with few of my subjects, I didn't mind them much. Parang alam ko yung gagawin ko agad pag ganitong problema ang nangyari. And sometimes, not always, I could determine what could happen next. Minsan din tumutugma or natyetyempo ang mga galaw or mga nangyayari. Parang synchronized ang bawat pangyayari. Grabe, noh kung pwede lang sana ganito nalang palagi pero as usual, later in time everything has a price, the greater the heavier it will be.

Bato bato na lang sa langit, but please do remember why we are all here. I know we can't just erase our conflicts, but at least remember why you are here. I am also sorry for my actions but I was irritated lang kasi, so I am sorry. But that's how frank I can be, I just do it.

Sana naman Po good may good news ako this mid terms please. . . Btw ito na ang finals! Woooh magbabakasyon na. Guys I hope na pwede kayo mag overnight at sana payagan ako ni dads, swimming ah!
I have no money yet but God willing na bigyan ako, may purpose naman din kasi, hehehe.

FINAL THOUGHT:

We always have conflicts in life but it is us to decide if we fix it or let it destroy us. We experience this so that we may become a better person it can also make us lesser if we let it control our lives.

"You are made of the sum and total of the choices and decisions you make everyday."

Ardent

SHOUT IT OUT:

I don't know, but lately I am on fire and always in the mood. Though I still have problems with few of my subjects, I didn't mind them much. Parang alam ko yung gagawin ko agad pag ganitong problema ang nangyari. And sometimes, not always, I could determine what could happen next. Minsan din tumutugma or natyetyempo ang mga galaw or mga nangyayari. Parang synchronized ang bawat pangyayari. Grabe, noh kung pwede lang sana ganito nalang palagi pero as usual, later in time everything has a price, the greater the heavier it will be.

Bato bato na lang sa langit, but please do remember why we are all here. I know we can't just erase our conflicts, but at least remember why you are here. I am also sorry for my actions but I was irritated lang kasi, so I am sorry. But that's how frank I can be, I just do it.

Sana naman Po good may good news ako this mid terms please. . . Btw ito na ang finals! Woooh magbabakasyon na. Guys I hope na pwede kayo mag overnight at sana payagan ako ni dads, swimming ah!
I have no money yet but God willing na bigyan ako, may purpose naman din kasi, hehehe.

FINAL THOUGHT:

We always have conflicts in life but it is us to decide if we fix it or let it destroy us. We experience this so that we may become a better person it can also make us lesser if we let it control our lives.

"You are made of the sum and total of the choices and decisions you make everyday."

Not All May Understand

Not all may understand what I am currently doing right now. Somebody will insist that I betrayed something or someone. Some may say that I am just doing it because I am just happy doing it. They might know me but everything may change. There are witnesses with in.

I know what I am doing so if anyone out there is trying to stop me, please don't. . . There are somethings that I want to learn on my own. . . Don't even think that I've just decided this easily for there are sacrifices. . .

One thing's for sure, I'll be bringing what you've taught to me, and when I get back I'll be sharing my experiences and try to implement it.

Nuff said . . .

Enthusiastic Week

Pang bawi sa mga stress ko, hehehe. . .

This is my best week so far sa University, particularly last Wednesday. First was that quiz on Trigo, it was easy. Even if I don't get a perfect score I am sure I'll get a high mark, God willing for me to get that A, hehehe parang akala mo nakapasa na ako ng midterms. Next was Algebra, akala ko may quiz mabuti na move ng Friday, so lusot nanaman. Next was Socio, wala yung prof pero may nangyari naman kahit papaano, second time ko na siya nakaka-usap and she asked for my CP number. Well may dahilan naman din kasi why she asked for it, but I got hers too anyway hehehe. Yep napatawa ko siya and stuff. I hope na maka-usap ko pa siya. Na-declare by 12pm na wala ng pasok, sakto 12 pa yung next class ko after ng socio and I have an hour free time. So right after socio, I was of to MDC again to get my HD form. I got the form and went to MOA with my friend to play ID4. 1:4 yung score ko pero okay lang, nakita ko si *****. Saya ko talaga, bihira lang toh mangyari sa akin pag may pasukan, except if it's my bday. Yung mga loko nag paparinig nanaman, hindi pa rin sila nagbabago, but WTF.

Thursday, may hang-over pa rin ako sa mga nangyari nung Wednesday, delayed aftershock hehehe. Lalo na nung nag quiz sa Theo, ang saya ko at nung naka gawa ako ng helicopter sa programming (what the heck). Bad trip nga lang nakatunganga ako from 1pm-3pm. Pero ang likot namin ng kaklase ko sa Chem, parang wala ng bukas kami kung tumawa. Hehehe ngayon ko lang appreciate yung Chem thanks to my prof sa lecture, she's really good.

Friday, tunaw nanaman ako sa kanya. Ang babaw ng mga rason ko kung bakit hehehe. Ayun, they reported half of there topic. Got our ECE shirt, basa pa yung print pero oks lang. Gusto ko sana sumali sa rally kung wala lang akong Drawing class eh. I really like our drawing class dun lumalabas yung pagka kulit namin ng mga katabi ko. Grabe galing talaga ng isang Civil Engineering Student na babae dyan, malinis din lagi yung work niya unlike us boys. There were three bad news at the end of the day nga lang. First was all of my friends were not able to get the ECE shirt kaya ayaw na nilang pumunta sa G.A. ng ECE Dept, sayang I wanted to meet new people pamandin. Second was sakto pagdating ko sa bahay, my 14 years old dog died na, well its good that she passed away kasi nahihirapan na din siya. Third was the Eraserheads concert has been canceled, I got frustrated on that, fu** them.

FINAL THOUGHT:
Nice night guys, I like our conversations. . .

Sparkles

Maiden so simple and kind
angelic aura that's hard to find
risen alike from Helen's bloodline
innocent, humble and mild
as beauty is shown from above

Jolting every human being to love
unfolding every eyes from slumber
deceiver and a head turner
enthusiastic, you have made me
alleviating every problems in thee

God sent angel from the heavens
aiding ones day from all burdens
so as intellect she poses
embracing every knowledge she needs
sparkling her perfection and identity

Andoy and his Best Friend

Somewhere in Milaor, Camarines Sur, there lived a fourth grader boy who

would follow this route to school everyday: He has to cross the rugged

plains and cross the dangerous highway where vehicles are recklessly

driving to and from.

Once past this highway, the boy would take a short cut, passing by the

Church every morning just to say Hi to God, and faithfully say

his, "Magandang umaga po" in Bicol dialect. He was faithfully being

watched by a Priest who was happy to find innocence so uplifting in the

morning,

"Kamusta, Andoy? Papasok ka na?"

"Opo padre ... "he would flash his innocent grin, the priest would be

touched. He was so concerned that one day he talked to Andoy.

"From school...", he advised "Do not cross the highway, you can

pass through the Church and I can accompany you to the other side of the

road...that way I can see that you are home safe...."

"Thank you father ... "

"Why don't you go home ... why do you stay in

this church right after school?"

"I just want to say 'Hi' to my friend, God," and the priest

would leave the boy to spend time beside the altar,

talking to himself, but the priest was hiding behind the altar to listen

to what this boy has to say to his heavenly FATHER.

"You know my math exam was pretty bad today, but I did not cheat although

my seatmate is bullying me for notes... I ate one cracker and drank my

water, Itay had a bad season and all I can eat is this cracker.

Thank you for this! I saw a poor kitten who was hungry and I know how he

feels so I gave my last cracker to him ... funny but I am not that hungry.

Look, this is my last pair of slippers ...I may have to walk barefoot next

week, you see this is about to be broken... but it is okay....at least I am

still going to school.... Some say we will have a hard season this month,

some of my classmates have already stopped going to school .... please help

them get to school again, please God?

...Oh, you know, Inay hit me again, it is painful, but I know this pain

will pass away, at least I still have a mother.... God, you want to see my

bruises? I know you can heal them.... Here... here and .... oh ...blood

...I guess you knew about this one huh? Please don't be mad at Inay, she

is

just tired and she worries for the food in our table and my schooling that

is why she hits us....Oh, I think I am in love ... there's this pretty girl

in my class, her

name is Anita ... do you think she will like me? Anyway, at least I know

you will always like me, I don't have to be anybody just to please you, you

are

my very best friend! Hey your birthday is two days from now!!! Aren't you

excited? I am! Wait till you see, I have a gift for you . but it is a

surprise! I hope you will like it! Oooops, I have to go ..." then he stood

up and calls out, "Padre, padre, I am finished talking to my friend ....

youcan accompany me to the other side of the road now"

This routine happens everyday. Andoy never fails. Father Agaton shares this

every Sunday to the people in his church because he has not seen a very

pure faith and trust in God, a very positive look at negative situations.

One Christmas day, Father Agaton was sick so he could not make it in the

Church, he was sent to the hospital. The Church was left to 4 manangs who

would chant the rosary in 1000 miles per hour, would not smile and would

always find fault in what you do, they were also very well versed in cursing

if you irritate them! They were kneeling, saying their kilometric rosary

when Andoy, coming from his Christmas party,playfully dashed in.

"Hello God! I ......"

"P----!! (a curse) bata ka!! Alam mo nang may nagdadasal!! Alis!!"

Poor Andoy was so terrified, "Where's Father Agaton? He is supposed to

help me cross the street ... and to be able to cross the street I will

have

to pass by the back door of this church .not only that, I have to greet

Jesus. It is His birthday, I have a gift right here....

" Just as he was about to get the gift out of his shirt, the manang pulled

his shirt and threw him out of the church. "Susmaryosep! !! (does the sign

of the cross fervently) Alis kang bata ka, kung hindi matatamaan ka!!!

So the boy had no choice but to cross the dangerous side of the road in

front of the church. He crossed. A fast moving bus came in.

There was a blind curve. The boy was protecting his gift inside his

shirt,

so he was not looking. There was so little time. Andoy died on the spot. A

lot of people crowded the poor boy, the body of a lifeless young boy ...

Suddenly, out of nowhere a tall man in a pure white shirt and pants, a

face so mild and gentle, but with eyes full of tears... He came and carried

the boy in His arms. He was crying. Curious bystanders nudged the man in

white, and asked,

"Excuse me sir, are you related to this child?

Do you know this child?"

The man in white, His face mourning and in agony, looked up and

answered,

"He was my best friend . " was all he said. He took the badly

wrapped gift in the bloody chest of the lifeless boy, and placed it near

His heart.

He stood up and carried the boy away and they both disappeared in sight.

The crowd was curious ...

On Christmas Eve, Father Agaton learned of the shocking news. He visited

the house, and wanted to verify about the man in white. He consulted the

parents of Andoy.

"How did you know that your son died?"

"A man in white brought him here." sobbed the mother. "What did

he say?"

The father answered, "He did not say anything. He was mourning. We do not

know him and yet he was very lonely about our son's death, as if he knew

our

son very well. But there was something peaceful and unexplainable about him.

He

gave me my son, and then he smiled peacefully. He brushed my son's hair

away from his face and kissed him on his forehead, then he whispered

something... "

"What did he say?"

"He said to my boy..." the father began, "Thank you for the gift

... I will see you soon ... you will be with me..." and the father

of the boy continued, "and you know for a while, it felt so

wonderful ... I cried, but I do not know why....all I know is I

cried tears of joy .... I could not explain it, Father, but when

that man left, something peaceful came over me, I felt a deep sense

of love inside ... I could not explain the joy in my heart, I knew

my boy is in heaven now but...tell me, Father, who is this man that my son talks to everyday in your church, you should know because you are always there ... except at the time of his death ......"Father Agaton suddenly felt the tears welling in his eyes, with trembling knees, he murmurred, " ... He was talking to no one .....

but .. GOD...

- Got it from Eli

Taking Me For Granted

Viewer's Discretion at this log:

If there is one thing I hate it is taking me for granted especially my efforts. I woke up at 1:30 am to review, supposedly, for my Algebra but seeing that I only had limited sources to review the lesson I'd skipped I moved on to my Chemistry. When I scanned on our activity from my manual it was one of my favorite experiments back then when I was still at MDC; Acid, Bases and Salts. I only left one question blank because we need an analysis and an observation on the salt. The rest was just balancing and finding the formula of the formed salts. Thanks to my chem book and the internet, I was able to double check if the salt I formulated was correct. But we were the second to pass our work, it will be suspicious if we passed our work 2 hours and 30 min before the class ended, so we let time pass by. But the mdaf***'n SOB insisted that I copied from the group who passed first, nagparinig pa ang walang hiya sa akin by scolding at the first group kung bakit daw sila nagpakopya. Pu** ka! Yung isa nga sa kanila nag ask kung pwede tulungan ko sila sa Aluminum Chloride na yan eh, where in fact I told them that it was easy and that they could do it on there own. Ta** In*, alam ko tong experiment na toh, nagawa ko na yan! At wala akong pakeelam kung kung na-una o nahuli ako, ang importante makita ng mga bulag mong mata na ginawa ko toh! Mangongopya ba ako sa isang tanong na alam ko na, bobo! Leche ka! Tapos pag mag lab lecture tayo sasabihin mo na pangalawa lang kami, na sumunod at nangopya kami, tan* In* ka! Balance ko pa yung equation on the spot sa muka mo, saksakin ko pa sa bibig mo yung mga lecheng acid na ginamit. Kung nangopya ako, sasabihin ko pa sayo kung kanino, isulat ko pa yung pangalan niya sa lab sheet all caps, engineering lettering.

Takte nasama pa ng pagka init ng ulo yung pagkawala ng libro ko sa Chem. Pucha talagang pag nasa mood ako naiingit sa akin yung tan* ina** malas na yan! Maayos na sana ang araw ko kung di lang umepal itong dalawang malas. Desperado ata itong malas na toh na patayin ako eh! Lahat na lang kinukuha sa akin kulang na lang ata eh pati buhay ko.

This day could have been a good day, nakita ko panaman sina Kuya Kim at Donita. Kung hindi lang laking epal itong malas na toh maayos na sana ang lahat, kahit maaga akong nagising, maganda naman yung pag bangon ko.

I won't forever hold on to my other side, I've been carrying this other character of mine back then and I am fully rejecting it ever since I shifted by always starting anew, doubling my efforts, waking up as early as before dawn and studying hard. Now if you are jealous on what and where I am in, you could kiss my a**, because I've been through hell before entering this University and I can say that I deserve being here. I am happy of my new life, anyone or anything against it, back the fu** up!

Taking Me For Granted

Viewer's Discretion at this log:

If there is one thing I hate it is taking me for granted especially my efforts. I woke up at 1:30 am to review, supposedly, for my Algebra but seeing that I only had limited sources to review the lesson I'd skipped I moved on to my Chemistry. When I scanned on our activity from my manual it was one of my favorite experiments back then when I was still at MDC; Acid, Bases and Salts. I only left one question blank because we need an analysis and an observation on the salt. The rest was just balancing and finding the formula of the formed salts. Thanks to my chem book and the internet, I was able to double check if the salt I formulated was correct. But we were the second to pass our work, it will be suspicious if we passed our work 2 hours and 30 min before the class ended, so we let time pass by. But the mdaf***'n SOB insisted that I copied from the group who passed first, nagparinig pa ang walang hiya sa akin by scolding at the first group kung bakit daw sila nagpakopya. Pu** ka! Yung isa nga sa kanila nag ask kung pwede tulungan ko sila sa Aluminum Chloride na yan eh, where in fact I told them that it was easy and that they could do it on there own. Ta** In*, alam ko tong experiment na toh, nagawa ko na yan! At wala akong pakeelam kung kung na-una o nahuli ako, ang importante makita ng mga bulag mong mata na ginawa ko toh! Mangongopya ba ako sa isang tanong na alam ko na, bobo! Leche ka! Tapos pag mag lab lecture tayo sasabihin mo na pangalawa lang kami, na sumunod at nangopya kami, tan* In* ka! Balance ko pa yung equation on the spot sa muka mo, saksakin ko pa sa bibig mo yung mga lecheng acid na ginamit. Kung nangopya ako, sasabihin ko pa sayo kung kanino, isulat ko pa yung pangalan niya sa lab sheet all caps, engineering lettering.

Takte nasama pa ng pagka init ng ulo yung pagkawala ng libro ko sa Chem. Pucha talagang pag nasa mood ako naiingit sa akin yung tan* ina** malas na yan! Maayos na sana ang araw ko kung di lang umepal itong dalawang malas. Desperado ata itong malas na toh na patayin ako eh! Lahat na lang kinukuha sa akin kulang na lang ata eh pati buhay ko.

This day could have been a good day, nakita ko panaman sina Kuya Kim at Donita. Kung hindi lang laking epal itong malas na toh maayos na sana ang lahat, kahit maaga akong nagising, maganda naman yung pag bangon ko.

I won't forever hold on to my other side, I've been carrying this other character of mine back then and I am fully rejecting it ever since I shifted by always starting anew, doubling my efforts, waking up as early as before dawn and studying hard. Now if you are jealous on what and where I am in, you could kiss my a**, because I've been through hell before entering this University and I can say that I deserve being here. I am happy of my new life, anyone or anything against it, back the fu** up!

Getting Ready

SHOUT IT OUT:

August 30 marks as one of the dates I should soon remember. Eraserheads will have a one night reunion concert sponsored by a Tobacco company (Marlboro ata) and they'll be receiving P10 million each. Now I don't know about there payments but the thing is may concert! I need to be there! I've invited an old friend to come with me and I hope yung iba makakapunta. There is this red list thingy, well actually it optional but they're offering VIP tickets for free. But you need to register (for free) to there site and must be at least 18 and above, you have to present an ID verifying your age. Though I've seen the ticket, it is not 100% sure that you'll be getting one but it's worth to try, wala naman mawawala. I rushed to someones house just to scan my passport ID and naki-gulo ng konti :D. Sana makuha ko yung ticket!

Well what do you know, I just got home from AdU. MTV Campus Crashers came to our University and featured the band Kamikazee. Yeah you might think na laos and gasgas na yung mga kanta nila. Pero kung nandun ka lang hahaha, you'll forget about it. It was hot inside, pinagkumpol, kumpol kami sa Gymnasium, yung iba sa labas na lang nanood, but I don't wanna miss this opportunity seeing them perform live for free. Ayoko nga at first pero when I saw 4 of my friends rushing through the line sumama na din ako sa kanila. Talgang nakipagsiksikan kami sa pila. Sa pila palang nagkakatulakan na =)) . . . I had concerts before but this one was a bit rough, pano kasi libre. Of course what's a rock concert without joining the mosh-pit! It was intense, may mga babae din na nakipag slaman pero I avoided them. Others nakisampa na lang sa lalaki habang nasa pit. Loko talaga si Jay, hahaha! Oh and BTW Sid hosted the show, I am just waiting for my friend's pic with Sid, him and me. Pang warm ko na din toh for the E-heads concert, hehehe . . .

FINAL THOUGHT:

I know it isn't enough just to say sorry to someone we hurt, especially if we love that person. But if you have done everything and he/she won't do anything just to say "I forgive you" don't bother anymore. For you have done your part, it's his/her problem now. Be friends with him/her, lend your hand if he/she asks from you. Maybe with this yo could settle things up. But you should also know when things are over. Don't make it such a burden, you still have many things to do and more people to meet.

Every joyful moments there is also a sacrifice. And after happy endings there will surely be tidal waves. We should keep in mind that not everything in life is always just getting in to big events, we sometimes need to spice things up before we finally get to our so called salvation.

Thinking of It. . .

My Progress

Its been a while that since I posted, yeah, kinda busy at school.

Day by day, things are getting both difficult and exciting! Slowly the group is expanding, but I can't finally say that I am very well adjusted, I still have to deal with my time management. But now at least I finally feel that I am in college. I have never been this active on viewing the UAAP games even if it is not my school competing. Though I have a bad start on one of my subjects this prelim I know, at least, that I can find my way through it. I had experiences even I am back to square one.

The temptation of spending and vices are getting tough, but now at least I am able to control it. No more puffs for me! But chillax. . . hehehe that's another story. . .

HOT SEAT:

It's your call if you want be an a** for the rest of your life. I am not stopping all of your ridiculous stories and s***. Just wait till everything comes back to you.

FINAL THOUGHT:

I feel like I am withering day by day. . . I don't know how long could I keep everything the way like it used to be. Time really is not on my side.

Hmm Kinda Fits though (Check it out!)

It Just Confuses Me More

SHOUT IT OUT:

For now I feel that I don't want to do anything yet. It's so hard when life is playing you around. You go and meet new people, you get to know them, get as close as you can, sacrifice your time and money, have different emotions, open up with them, admire them and court them. After these, what usually happen to me are problems suddenly intervene, you open up, fix your problem, then slowly you have to sacrifice your time being with her, slowly you loose contact and then without warning you have to leave and say good bye. All that you can talk about with her mostly are your past experiences with each other and what will happen to either of you in the future. You try to set dates where you can meet there are some who were able to meet but mostly if not postponed the date will be canceled anonymously.

And when things are about to get settled, when you have given everything already and moved on; she'll suddenly ask how are you through text, phone or online. And the next thing you know, that high feeling when you first met suddenly goes back.

HOT SEAT:

It's really good to hear from you again, it felt like I haven't talked to you for more than a year. See you next week

FINAL THOUGHT:

I hope I am wrong.

It Just Confuses Me More

SHOUT IT OUT:

For now I feel that I don't want to do anything yet. It's so hard when life is playing you around. You go and meet new people, you get to know them, get as close as you can, sacrifice your time and money, have different emotions, open up with them, admire them and court them. After these, what usually happen to me are problems suddenly intervene, you open up, fix your problem, then slowly you have to sacrifice your time being with her, slowly you loose contact and then without warning you have to leave and say good bye. All that you can talk about with her mostly are your past experiences with each other and what will happen to either of you in the future. You try to set dates where you can meet there are some who were able to meet but mostly if not postponed the date will be canceled anonymously.

And when things are about to get settled, when you have given everything already and moved on; she'll suddenly ask how are you through text, phone or online. And the next thing you know, that high feeling when you first met suddenly goes back.

HOT SEAT:

It's really good to hear from you again, it felt like I haven't talked to you for more than a year. See you next week

FINAL THOUGHT:

I hope I am wrong.

Met My Target

SHOUT IT OUT:

Well I had a bad start, it is really hard to wake up, buti na lang wala pang klase sa Trigo pero musta naman hindi ako nakapasok sa Socio ko, I hope wala pang ginagawa dun and sana hindi terror yung prof, I'll have my answer this Friday (patay); tatanga-tanga kasi eh nakakainis. I've met my target, that is to aquire at least 20 units this semester. Nakuha ko yung two important major subjects ko plus naka advance ako ng isang subject. For me hindi ako underload nor full load, so ayos lang. Thank God! naaprove yung dalawang petitions! I have to decode my sked again if not tomorrow by Friday. Problema ko na lang books and uniforms. I've met a few new people mostly from higher years, may naka-usap nga akong nag start sa university nung 2003, grabe, 2003 ah tapos he's taking up Chem 1.

So here we go, papanindigan ko na talaga ito and for sure babawi ako. Ei sa mga friends ko na taga Taft or dumadaan dun pa-uwi kasama na din yung sa Macapagal area: UP Manila, La Salle (dito alam ko madami eh), MDC, kasama pati UST at Adamson (ako lang pala dito, hahaha). Mag set tayo ng date (yung sanang hindi cloudy at uulan) na tumambay sa San Miguel Bay sa likod ng MOA, ipon din kayo ng pera!

Kuya salamat sa pagtulong mo sa akin sa pag enroll!

FINAL THOUGHT:
Through out this summer, I felt Him working and communicating on each and everyone of us. He knew that we really need a break and he did gave us one! Now, as always, we have to go back to our real world but at least He gave us something, He gave us gifts to use when we need them and a reminder that He will always be on our side. And I hope that we could be a LIGHT to the people. Like what the priest said to us, "Do not expect to see a miracle by God, but instead be a miracle to others."

Guys I hope we could still see and meet each other no matter what happens. I am really happy that I'll be growing with all of you.

Met My Target

Tagged by Rochelle

Rule:

List ALL the names you were called by and the people/person who called you that. Tag at least 5 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged. :D

David Alfred B. Divino: My given name -- also used by my Family especially Tita Tina

Isaiah: My name back then (Isaiah B. Balanon) when I was in pre-school and Grades 1-3 -- used by my previous preschool and Grades 1-3 teachers and classmates, my mom, dad and Tita Grace

David: I myself use it when I call at someones home to introduce myself, my previous HS and MDC classmates, my previous HS and MDC professors and Tita Tina.

Alfred: Yung nasa D.O. ng Adamson, Kuya G and Tita Tina

Mr. Divino: Tita Tina =)) , HS teachers, MDC College Profs, Jam (the heck), Enzo, sa mga formal occasions and yung mga tao sa registrar at admission ng mga schools na napuntahan ko.

D.A.: Famous & very much used -- by my family, cousins, PRYM, KOA, my friends, classmates and Sr. Noel

Dada: I prefer someone who's really close to me should use this, exception ang Family and PRYM -- sa PRYM mostly by Kuya G, Mel, Z, Aya and Thea (yung iba na nakalimutan d ko sinasadya, hehehe)

Avid: given and used by someone special dati, I called her Eiah naman. . .

Deh -- eh: only my dad

Sakristang Rakista: Kuya Gerald (pinsan ko, ampf)

Payatot: Tita Tina, Tita Grace, Dad and Min

Moses: Previous MDC 1st yr classmates (dahil sa kapal ng buhok ko nun)

Chard: Patrick (I am still pissed off of with this name, wag niyo na alamin yung isa, pu****@ sila!)

Dolphey: Yung mga naka-inuman ko sa outing ko nung First Yr sa MDC (Dahil sa aking cachupoy hair that I combed after our swimming)

Paolo Contis: Maniwala kayo o hindi they called me that -- by my Gr 4-6 friends

Lito Lapid: Patrick, Jene and Wei Chiang (Dahil addicted din ako sa arcade shooting games)

Rico Blanco: Maniwala din kayo dito o hindi they called me that -- by Enzo, Aki and yung isang C.I. sa MDC I forgot his last name.

1.) Kuya G

2.) Kat

3.) Diane

4.) Aya

5.) Karl

Things Aren't Always What They Seem (5th Parable)

You may already know this story. . . I just like it!

Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead, the angels were given a space in the cold basement.

As they made their beds on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night, the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had, the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning, the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel, "How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet, you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little, but, was willing to share everything and you let their cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall, so he wouldn't find it. Then, last night, as we slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came to for his wife. I gave her cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Rip of from: Enjoy Life! ...in the right sense

by Glenn Paul M. Gomez, SVD

My Sacrifice, Just Out of My Mind

SHOUT IT OUT:

The show turned out to be successful and a miracle. I've heard that it had a problem from the start, wala daw koryente, pero bumalik naman agad. I am glad to share also this experience with one of my best friend outside the ministry, he said that he had a good time and he wanted to thank us for the oppurtunity for letting him play. Buti na lang tinawagan ko siya for the variety show at nagkaproblema ako sa enrollment ko. Okay lang hindi na ako tumugtog basta lang ma share ko yung ginagawa ko sa kanya with God, I guess this was after all my sacrifice. So again, both ministries have surpassed another challenge ang lakas natin talaga kay Lord. I apologize sa commitee ko if I contributed nothing, sorry talaga.

I was freaking angry and depressed, mix emotions at that time. I wanted to cry out, but I can't. I realized that I've done something pathetic by the time I am inside my house, I also realized that I didn't have my dinner, kahit snack wala. To mention I am with the people who I really look up to and follow, napahiya ko sila. Namanhid kamay at paa ko sa sobrang galit. I guess seloso lang talaga ako and I am just putting myself down. I don't know what got in to my head . . . I am such a child (mas matino pa nga ata yung bata eh) or a loser even that time, bumalik yung pagka-init ng ulo at papansin ko. I know I should be happy, well I was happy tapos biglang boom, snap out. I'll get over this, I know I will, I have been through worse scenarios and I've surpass them. Nabigla lang ata ako kagabi, ewan ko. . . I'll get over it don't worry. For now kalma lang ako . . .

I only got 11 units, my goodness ang takaw ng mga tao sa schedule. 2nd day of enrollment palang lahat full na, ano kaya mangyayari sa mga late enrollees? Good thing my cousin was there to help me. I hope dumami pa yung mga mag pepetition sa mga subjects that I signned in. Talagang ganyan buti na magging tanga sa umpisa kesa sa gitna o huli and for experience na rin. So babalik pa ako next week for that, I hope I hit my mark.

FINAL THOUGHT:

Control, restrain, get a grip and chill. . . Better to be happy and high than depressed. . .

Double check everything before passing your documents. . .

In cases when many people are involved plus the weather is not on your side, you better be early than sorry. . .

If you're tired and everything is going though, think of it as if your in to an action packed adventure of your life, better than be bored to death. Marami lang ding pasaway, hehehe. . .

Be optimistic in every challenges, because wether its easy, medium or hard you'll still get through it. . .

Please answer, please, please!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:

1. I died:

2. I kissed you:

3. I lived next door to you:

4. I started smoking:

5. I stole something:

6. I was hospitalized:

7. I ran away from home:

8. I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:

9. Personality:

10. Eyes:

11. Hair:

12. Family:

WOULD YOU:

13. Be my friend?

14. Keep a secret if I told you one?

15. Hold my hand?

16. Take a bullet for me?

17. Keep in touch?

18. Try and solve my problems?

19. Love me?

20. Date me?

21. Sing with me?

HAVE YOU EVER:

22. Lied to make me feel better?

23. Wanted to kiss me?

24. Wanted to kill me?

25. Broke my heart?

26. Kept something important from me?

27. Thought I was unbearably annoying?

MORE:

28. Who are you?

29. Are we friends?

30. When and how did we meet?

31. Describe me in one word:

32. What was your first impression?

33. Do you still think that way about me now?

34. What reminds you of me?

35. If you could give me anything what would it be?

36. How well do you know me?

37. When's the last time you saw me?

38. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

39. Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you?

40. Really?

The Beginning

Nung Monday ko lang nalaman na sa 29 pa pala yung enrollment ko so talagang pagod ako nung pag-uwi ko from AdU with my cousin, walang na-accomplish man lang. Sobrang nahiya din ako sa kanya kasi sa nagastos niyang pamasahe, taga San Pedro pa man din so, bro, sorry ah! Delikado din yung ginawa ko my goodness! Pero at least I know what to do na hehehehe pero sana masamahan mo ako para may kakwentuhan ako habbang nakapila, hmmm. . . Puro irregs . . . so paunahan na toh hahaha!

Kakauwi ko lang pala from a performance hehehe, yep tumugtog kami sa Youth Night! Full of energy yung mga tao, grabe! Astig yung mga dancers, feel na feel nila sayaw nila! Hmmm I could say na talagang amature pa kami, not a first time for us though, but talagang kulang kami sa practice and experience. But! Still! It was fun! A composition and a secular song. And yeah thanks to my co-guitarist/bassist, we already have a name, we are called "SHEPPERD'S FLOCK!" So far may two original songs na kami, "Maybe" & "My Cup Overflows". We still have many things to do, we need to have our own drumset na pwedeng dalhin kahit saan, a permanent bassist na willing tumugtog and magging committed sa ministry and a lot of songs to play and experience of course. I pray that no matter what happens we could still play and offer our talents for Him.

So The Variety Show is my next and final agenda for the month of May so I pray na matuloy toh, and please support the event, lalo na yung mga members ng dalawang community. It will be held on a parking lot sa harap ng Ressurection of Our Lord Parish on May 30 from 7pm - 10pm. Those who are willing to share their talents please tell me or anyone you know at the ministry. For further details we will be submitting flyers tom and check out our multiply sight, http://prymers.multiply.com, no entrence fee so its free! There would be bands and dancers malay niyo may kakilala kayo dun so sali na and come back home to God!

FINAL THOUGHT:
Fine, frankly, I was a bit depressed but honestly I am fine; I'll get over it, could have been worse.

Regrets, Letting Go and Moving On

SHOUT IT OUT:

Last night I was hyper, ka text ko banaman yung crush ko hehehe. But make no mistake hanggang dun lang yun I have no intentions of courting her. I told her that I am going to miss the times that we see each other at the corridor, library and the canteen. She replied back by telling me that she'll miss it too.

The two of us attended the Healing of Memories part, that was the first day and the last activity of the seminar. I was relieved to offer all of my good and mostly bad experiences for the past two years. Those names that I had written, I am thankful that I had met them even if they left me happy and painful memories. So yes, everything about it, I had already offered and let them go at the same time.

Sa mga nasabihan ko kanina, sorry din and please peace na tayo okay! Pero tandaan niyo ah, isang oras lang ang kailangan to listen and to be silent. And I hope binawi mo ang mga pinagsasabi mo! Grabe ka wala ka nang takot at hiya, please grow up!

So I would like to congratulate the new LSS graduates batch 25 (claps), especially yung mga umattend na PRYM members and for those other new people, your "real" journey with God has begun.

FINAL THOUGHT:

Well I've been thinking about it a lot and yes I guess nothing will happen. Don't worry soon it will all fade away and you too will realize that everything was just a dream. Regretting everything that had happened and finally telling straight to my face that I am just a waste of time!

A new path has been given to me and I can't wait to walk on it and embrace my new life!

Please read it and do what is asked!

I.

A man was busy throwing washed up clams back in the sea. A passerby, who saw his charitable activity, couldn’t help but ask, “Excuse me sir. May I ask, why you bother at all? Could you possibly think that you can make a difference by throwing a handful of clams back at the sea, while there are plenty of other clams being washed ashore?”

The man merely smiled, and threw another clam from that shoreline. Grinning at the passerby, all he said was, “Made a difference with that one.”

II.

A little girl just saw a TV program about African children suffering from Malaria. Moved by what she saw, the girl resolved to collect a quarter from each of her neighbors. After a few days, the little girl squealed happily. “Mommy, mommy I reached $10!” Her mother smiled sadly at her and replied. “That’s good dear. But $10 cannot possibly save the whole of Africa.”

Confused, the little girl said, “But mommy. $10 is the cost of a single saving kit (note: pills, med kit, etc.). I’ve already saved one!”

Ask yourselves,

How can a variety show possibly change all the BF Youth and turn them back to God?

Well, the youth variety show can’t do it alone. It will take A LOT of work.

But for every person you inspire, for every youth that you share the joy with, it doesn’t really matter if you can convince only a handful of youth to turn back to god. For their lives, you already made a huge difference.

Think about it. Why not share your talents to inspire others?

We’re just a call/text/IM away! Good night and God bless.

REPOST THIS AT YOUR BLOG. ty

... "A Conversation" ...

Guy: May I ask you something?

Girl: Sure. . no un. .?

Guy: Ano gagawin mo pag mahal mo yung tao pero hindi talaga pwede pero ramdam mo na somehow meron din siyang tingin sayo?

Girl: Ed ssvhin q s knya.. . mas ok n alm nya kesa mgcc k s huli n nde m nsv s knya dva. . . cguro mhirap un. . pero mas mggng ok prin kung mlalaman nya. .

Guy: Pano kung alam niya pero there is still a hindrance?

Girl: E pano m nmn nsv n alam nya.. .

Panong hindrance?

Guy: What if umamin ako sa kanya?

Hindrance -- like respect and studies na rin

Girl: Edi mganda kung aamin k, wait m ung reaction nya. .

Pano nging hindrance ung respect. .?

D q magetz. .

Guy: Respect, like there might be someone I could accidentally hurt.

Girl: Ganun. . .e ganun nmn s love e. . lging merong nsasaktan. . . pag ng love k b ready to get hurt. . .

Guy: Hindi naman yung magmamahal yung masasaktan eh kundi baka yung iba pang tao

Girl: Pano m nmn nasv n msasaktan xa... .?

Guy: Let’s just say they too had an affair in the past.

Girl: Ah i.c . . hrap nmn nyan.. pero u have to choose. . ignore wat u feel, and regret in d future or say wat u feel pero my mssktan. . .

Guy: Hehehe . . . sayang lang talaga yun yung masasabi ko

Girl: No kb!! take the risk!! mas maskit mg regret. .

Guy: But what if that person is all that you've got left?

For now?

Girl: Pano m nmn nsv n xa nlng nttra 4 u. . ?

Guy: Kasi siya lang ang nakakakilala sayo compared to your best friends and the people around.

kilala at intindi

Girl: Ganun.. wait lng i dont get it. . ung taong nttra sau is d person u love. .? tama b. . ?

Guy: Yes

Girl: E un nmn pala e!! kilaa k nya n naiintndhan k nya, malamng lam nrn nya ung feelings m 4 her. . .

Guy: Sana nga

Girl: Pero, itz better prin if u tell her. . para malamn m rin wat she feelz dva. .

Guy: Ito talaga gagawin mo if you are at that predicament?

Girl: Oo cguro. . pipilitin qng gawin. . .

Mas mhirap kc mgreregret e. .

Girl: Tel kung ano nangyari pag nsv m n huh. .

Guy: Sabihin ko sayo? kailangan pa ba?

Girl: Wait its up 2 u. . pero id love to know kung ano mangyayari. .

Guy: Well ganito kasi noh, inamin ko na kasi sa kanya, at obvious naman daw kasi (hehehehe) but yet hindi ko alam kung anong feelings sa akin ng tao

Kung anong feelings niya sa akin*

Girl: Oh, un nmn pala e!! nsv m n. . ed ask her if she feel something din. . .

Guy: Mukhang hindi talaga pwede

And pero -- ewan ko lang ah

Parang confused pa kasi siya eh

Girl: Ah ganun, . .if thats the case. . give her tym. .

Guy: That's her problem, hindi niya alam sasabihin niya sa akin

Girl: Ai ganun. . hirap nga nyan. . .

Guy: Ang hirap noh?

Girl: Oo nga e!! pero kaya m yn!! kawp. .

* Kaw p. .

Guy: Well

I love that person, but yet I don't want to hurt myself

Lalo na siya, ayoko siyang masaktan kasi she's all that I've got

Girl: Pero para mas mtahimik k alamin m talaga feelings nya. .

un nga un e. . .kea nga sv q sau. . wen u love be ready to be hurt. .

pno m xa mssktan? . . .e love m nga xa?

Guy: Just go with the flow na lang ako. . .