Monday, January 28, 2008

Bday Part 2 (Post Celebration)

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Saturday, January 26, 2008. . .

I woke up with an upset stomach, so I asked permission with my prof in Language if I could cut classes at baka hindi ko na makayanan and thank God pinayagan ako. Pero tumambay muna ako saglit sa MOA with my classmate, tapos umuwi na ako.

When I got home my cousin was there already together with my lola's sister and 3 of my Tita's were at the kitchen preparing food for the celebration that evening. My cousin and I Nag view kami ng mga videos sa youtube and nag acoustic jam to kill time.

I went to church by 5pm for our prayer meeting, the prayer meeting was cold at the beggining but it ended up well. Tapos nyan, pumunta na kami sa bahay at nag Inuman na !!!!

Yung mga young ones sumabay sa akin, 5 persons were already at my house, sumunod yung bumili ng mga drinks at yung kagagaling lang sa personal na lakad, umuwi na yung mga may curfew at humabol yung mga friends ko na mahilig mag video games. Although 3 persons I expected to come were not there, it all went well. Nahiram ko yung PS2 para may libangan, the food was almost unlimited pati na yung soft drinks and hard drinks, Nagkaroon ng reunion with my band and HS friends, PRYM was there, my cousin was there at nag overnight siya (sayang yung iba na pinayagan ko mag overnight), nag jamming saglit at umambon (hahahaha) and of course we had a good time. I just hope na kahit na this might be my last "bday celebration", I hope that I would have more bdays to come and more blessings to recieve and share with others.

FINAL THOUGHT:

The event turned out to be like a dream but the next day was like somebody had thrown a big rock on my forehead reminding me I am back to reality. I wished it had lasted a little longer, it was the best bday celebration I ever had! Not to mention I am already legal! I thank God for this day, it was a blast!

PS: Shit! Hindi ko pa natatapos yung report ko sa Health Eco!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Bday Part 1

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I got up as early as 2:00am not by my alarm clock -- because it was set to go off by 4:30am -- but by mosquito bites! Pati ba naman mga lamok kaaga-aga mag party sa forearm ko. So natulog uli ako pagkatapos lagyan ng vicks yung mga pantal. I got up again by 5:00am, ginawa ko yung bathroom routine ko, drank a cup of coffee, change my clothes and went to church. And then after I attended the mass, I went back to get some things and again left to meet with my Health Eco group.

As usual, Filipino time dumating yung iba, we got some references but we have not yet done anything after that. By the way ang lakas ng hangin sa MOA, lumipad yung tray from the table. So after the meeting, bumili na ako ng new acoustic guitar and I treated few of my classmates at TZ, I availed the promo of free swipes for an hour. Sayang nga lang akala ko lahat ng games, yun pala yung mga yellow swipes lang pwede. Sorry kung naiinis kayo sa akin at hindi tayo nakakuha ng card sa ID4, pero mas okay na din yun at baka mamaya yun pa yung magging source of distraction natin at bumagsak tayo. Wala pa nga tayong card eh halos everyday na tayo naglalaro, pano pa kaya kung meron?

Though few lang yung ininvite ko, at least yung mga taong gusto kong makasama ay nandoon. Kala ko nga yung isa hindi pupunta! Binati banaman ako ng pagkalakas sa JB store kaya lahat ng customers na nandun tumingin sa akin. Its also funny the I brought home my guitar via box, I looked weird carrying around it at TZ; parang naglayas ako na may balak mag stay sa TZ. I just hope they enjoyed there free play. . .

. . . to be continued

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Not Good

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My midterm exmination was difficult for my minor subjects (except for Physics). I partly blame the professors for it, kasi naman they mostly based there discussion sa pagkahabang examples tapos magiging kwentuhan na lang. And mostly they relly it on us, self study kung baga. I just wish na sana hindi sila mostly magiging pabigat sa amin; kasi unlike before, meron na kaming mga subjects from the CON. I am not saying na hindi ko pina-prioritize yung minor subjects but marami kami ginagawa sa mga major namin. At least man yung mga CAS subjects helped us by discussing the real important parts and summarize some chapters. Kung hindi by photocopy sana by summarizing the chapters to us kahit by reporting or homeworks. If these were major subjects maiintindihan ko pa siya. At syempre, may pagka loko din kasi ako, minsan tinatamad pero pano ka nga gaganahan if yung pag turo ay pabarabara lang dba? Tapos biglang nagkaroon pa kami ng Aptitude Test from the guidance. The Nursing Judgement and Documentation part were easy but the rest were difficult, atsaka pagod na yung utak namin nun.

I can't wait for 23 and 26! Masaya toh! I hope yung mga pinsan ko makakapunta! It has been while celebrating big events with them. And for those I talked to personally, I hope to see you there. Sana kasya nga lang tayo sa bahay, hehehe.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I have done a lot of mistakes this term. They're not that many but it's something big for sure. I'll try to change as I reach 18. But I feel that I am a bit fixated on something. There are still some habits and attitudes that I can't let go. And guys, you don't need to rub it in that I am getting old okay, hehehe. I can see and feel it, and it sucks!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

No Choice

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I've been to our meeting last becuase naiisip ko din na hindi rin ako makaka review, so instead of wasting my time at the PC, I just spend it with my friends and with JC. Nakita ko yung kwarto ni partner, hehehe it was kinda childish but cute.

HOT SEAT:

Issues are again uprising with you! Talagang wala kanang paki sa sarili at reputasyon mo, noh! Despite of the warnings and requests I gave you. It's your call, ako I am just doing what I think is right. Pare new year na! Pwede ba, change for the better, ha! Matanong nga kita kung bakit ka nan dito ha!? Is it for yourself, for your friends, for your girls or for Him?

LAST THOUGHTS:

When I got home last night, I was thinking how would I review all of these exmas in such a short time left. Then again it hit me again; the thoughts of regreting everything. But I right now I can't do anything about it, it got me depressed. Right all I can do about it is just ignore it and face the fact that I've made such a diffucult decision and sacrifice. I never really liked it from the start, I never knew that I'll be here instead of focusing to the thing that I have interest, edge and specialty. I guess turning back right now would be stupid. But I find it awkward that I've to the point of shifting or transferring so many times and yet nothing happened. I guess I am really placed here. "Prioritize your studies!", "Mag-aral ka ng mabuti!", "You are the one who will bring your family a better future." These are the words that I always get from my parents. But I told them "Walang sisihan if I didn't make it." Everything that I do now is by force, napipilitan lang ako to do it for them. Pati yung environment of people I am in, nagkakapa pa ako a bit to be with them. So there is no turning back for me now, I'll soon have our clinical uniform and ang layo na ng nararating ko. So I have no choice, but to be obidient.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Consider It Done

The heated discussion is cooling down a bit and kasama na din yung lahat, what I mean is I am back to reality again. Back to skul nanaman. . . More of back to hell, hehehe. . . I enjoyed my vacation though, kumpleto siya unlike nung Oct, may chillax sessions, naka hang out ako with my cousins and some of my HS friends, may mga Xmas parties here and there. Yun nga lang sayang hindi man lang ako nakapag outing with them, kahit man lang sa mall.

I am confused with all of my feelings right now. Minsan hindi ko nga alam kung tama ba yung mga ginagawa ko o hindi dahil isip ako ng isip. But as usual wala akong ginagawa except to go with the flow. Ayoko din may mangyaring masama both sa kanya at lalo na sa akin. Baka mamaya na miss interpret ko lang, hehehe.

I guess this year my priorities are narrowed to 2 which is the ministry and the my studies as well. As much as possible, I'll have to put everything aside. I'll try to be a better person this year. My two previous years were my worst. Pero within this years my family and the ministry are at my back to support me and are still here to welcome and accept me for who I am.

So anyway with all that, malapit na midterms namin at hindi pa ako nakakareview at nawili ako sa mga pinaggagawa ko nung bakasyon. Malapit na din pala kami mag all white uniform nagsukat na last year, hehehe, good luck sa amin! GOD WILLING!

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Just Got Ruined

This entry is quite personal and explicit. . . Feel free to READ ONLY, nothing more nothing less. . .

Nagising ako constipated, mananahimik at matutulog na lang ako, galit na galit sa lahat. Takte talagang natatantya mo na lang palagi kung kelan nasa mood ako noh! Talagang kailangan mo pang sirain yung araw ko na magiging okay na sana! Magiging kumpleto na nga araw ko kung sana nilabas mo na lang lahat ng sama ng loob mo sa akin bukas eh. Pagod na at nananahimik na nga dun mo pa ako dadakdakan! Ang sarap nyo din minsan pag unutugin ang mga ulo nyo sa semento or better yet para mas madali batuhin ko sa inyo yung swiss ko. Hassle na nga lagi yung araw ko pag may pasukan pati pa naman dito hindi maayos yung relasyon ko sa inyo. At put**g i** nasasawa na ako lagi sa mga pagreremind niyo sa akin na ganito ganyan, at pagod na ako palaging mag-paintinde sa inyo lahat ng mga ginagawa ko. Ano pa ba gusto niyo sa akin ha!? Lahat na nga palagi ko inilalahad sa inyo, pati yung mga personal na gamit hinahayaan kong pakialaman ninyo, pati pa naman yung oras ko dadamayan ninyo! Puc** ayoko ng ganito! Sana respetuhin niyo man lang ako. Hindi ko kayo pinipilitan to understand me, respeto lang sana! Atsaka please lang sana, wag kayong masyadong nag woworry at alam ko yung ginagawa ko OK! Kung dati nagkakamali ako, dati yun, natuto na ako sa mga pagkakamali ko! Pambihira hindi niyo lang ma accept na nagging ganito ako. Akala niyo palagi ako sasampa sa inyo!? Tak**, sige nga papaano ako matututo kung palagi akong dependent sa inyo. Tignan mo nga nang yari sayo! Wala kang man lang kaibigan o kainuman! Wala nga man lang tumatawag kahit isa sa dati mong kaibigan before! Lagi ka nakadipende sa akin! Gusto mo nga ng time with them pero lahat naman sila wala dito, iniwan tayo kasi may sariling buhay na sila! Ano bang mga maling nagawa ko ha!? Lahat naman ng mga request mo nagagawa ko kahit minsan naiinis na ako dahil ito lang naman lagi naririnig ko sayo, pinapagawa mo pa nga minsan kung kelan busy ako, tapos biglang maiinis kayo pag hindi ko agad nagawa, BUSY NGA YUNG TAO, TANGA! Tapos pag ako nagpa-request wala kayong time, hindi niyo magawa, BULLS***!!!

Request ko lang po ha, RESPETO! Ako ginagawa ko lahat ng mga pinapagawa niyo sa akin no questions asks, pati yung dapat kong pagtungunan, sinakripisyo ko na lang para sa inyo, kaya kahit I am out of my league pinaghihirapan at pinagtitiis ko lahat ng hirap. Sana RESPETO lang RESPETO!

I appologize for those readers who got annoyed or disturbed reading this entry. . . I just want to let things out before I sleep. . .

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

New Year New Site

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Ang bilis talaga ng panahon hehehe new year na! Wala akong magawa nung Jan 1 kaya naisipan kong gumawa ng multiply account hehehe. Sa mga nag tumitingin ng photos ko, sorry kung yan lang meron ako, lahat nyan ay shared at grabbed lang. I have no digi cam yet, ni CP na may camera wala. Pero God willing makukuha ko yung Motorola Razor from mama mga bandang Feb. Pero right now tyaga muna ako sa pag share at grab.

While I was fixing my site, ginawa kong private yung mga blog posts ko (pasensya na sa mga contacts ko na nakita ang pag multiply ng mukha ko sa inbox, I was just edting my blog na gawing private but all are old posts). I was able to scan a bit of my posts at nakita ko ang mga mali mali kong english grammar (I am trying to work it out), mga palpak na pinaggagawa ko dati, mga happy and painful moments ko. When I saw my last years life it was really like a wave pero mas mabigat yung pagging malungkot at paggalit ko. So as for this year, I'll try to make a big difference, try lang muna ayoko muna magsalita kung ano-ano ang mga gagawin ko.

HOT SEAT

Thanks again for keeping up our friendship, without you we won't be able to keep in touch with each other.

That was a close call for you. You almost got beaten up by someone else! Remember my simple request!