MEMOIR LOG 2:
I remember when it’s a Saturday, holiday or no classes; my friends use to call and invite me to play at an internet café or video games. But most of the time we go to a house and play all day long and at night we would go to ATC and watch a movie. Back then, we were thinking of what courses we chose and what schools had we passed the entrance exam. But mostly we talk about our dreams; dreams that are un-reachable or ridiculous, dreams that when you see us in it you might ask us, “Are you guys serious?” But at least it was our interest.
I was looking at my goal so much that I have forgotten my real interests. And I think this why nothing is happening even when I study or sometimes get a little lazy. This might be also the reason I have this feeling of being out of place. But let’s put this way, if ever I found out what my interests are, what is then my vision of me 5-10 years from now? This began to bother me.
These thoughts have been a big issue with in me every single day. It is really, really difficult to decide. Right now I am reminding myself not to think about this for now and at least finish this one semester, but it’s such a distraction. I can’t focus on my studies and I can’t do anything right. I just wanted to give up right now and drop everything, I wanted to break free from this anxiety I am in.
Guys, I am sorry if I talk about this all the time. It is not for the sake of just having a blog entry but I just wanted to let this out. . .
I remember when it’s a Saturday, holiday or no classes; my friends use to call and invite me to play at an internet café or video games. But most of the time we go to a house and play all day long and at night we would go to ATC and watch a movie. Back then, we were thinking of what courses we chose and what schools had we passed the entrance exam. But mostly we talk about our dreams; dreams that are un-reachable or ridiculous, dreams that when you see us in it you might ask us, “Are you guys serious?” But at least it was our interest.
I was looking at my goal so much that I have forgotten my real interests. And I think this why nothing is happening even when I study or sometimes get a little lazy. This might be also the reason I have this feeling of being out of place. But let’s put this way, if ever I found out what my interests are, what is then my vision of me 5-10 years from now? This began to bother me.
These thoughts have been a big issue with in me every single day. It is really, really difficult to decide. Right now I am reminding myself not to think about this for now and at least finish this one semester, but it’s such a distraction. I can’t focus on my studies and I can’t do anything right. I just wanted to give up right now and drop everything, I wanted to break free from this anxiety I am in.
Guys, I am sorry if I talk about this all the time. It is not for the sake of just having a blog entry but I just wanted to let this out. . .
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